He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
