Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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