It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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