her vagine was all disorganized.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
