He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize