we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need a beard to bite.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
