Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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