its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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