is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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