There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
