a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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