i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
