I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
