she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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