I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
