Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
