I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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