I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
