i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
