I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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