I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
