tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize