she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
