So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
