That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
