I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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