Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
