Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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