I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
