just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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