Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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