he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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