How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
