My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
