My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize