My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
