it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
