Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize