lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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