i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
