epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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