last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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