I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
