I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
