your thong is hanging out like whoa
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
