He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
