dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
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I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
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I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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