Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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