I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize