Me too!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You are the jesus of drinking
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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