Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize