can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize