...so i touched it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
