so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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