Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
