I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
