If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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