I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
