I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
