Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just had sex on a roof
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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