It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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