To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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