I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
