This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
