she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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