Your face is a jimmy john
she was so not down for the gang bang
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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