I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You are the jesus of drinking
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
