I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she told me i tasted like america
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Help. Why am I so naked?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
