3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
